The eulogy is a great chance for relatives to say nice things about you they might have said earlier ... but often didn't. It's a chance to add a bit of glory to the tale of someone's ordinary life to make absence and loss seem more important (which of course it is).
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For some, it's the beginning of a new life with God and the angels, or the chance to come back as something else for a second go. I won't be going to either of those places! I wouldn't get in and I wouldn't want to get in with spirits whose lives are measured against a set of values usually put down by men acting, they say, as conduits to whatever supreme being is acting for them.
My eulogy will require quite a bit of thinking. From the start I've been lucky. Blessed with a brain that works, I came into the world suited up for a good start. Dragged down by my family's emotional deficits, which are one of life's roadblocks, I had to wait a few years to find an answer. And when I did, I've found it's served me well and has protected me from greed, corruption, dishonesty as far as that goes, religious or political turmoil. It has also protected me from the ravages of emotional pain triggered by the actions of others. No mean feat, I say.
Here's the point about a eulogy: if you do it yourself, then it need not be all about achievement, glorification or the projections of others. It can be about acquired wisdom. A selfie eulogy might be useful to others trapped in places along their life journey.
Three pivotal events helped me get a start in life. When I was 13 and puzzled about why we were here, I found my place in the universe. Looking up at the Milky Way, I was suddenly overwhelmed by my lack of importance. Then, as I watched one star among millions, I decided if that star didn't exist, then the whole Milky Way, in a direct sense would be different. Small different, but different all the same. If that were so, that applied to me as well. With adolescent humility, I accepted my place in the universe. Small, insignificant but an important element in this moment and until I died.
Then it was about why were we here. No one I ever asked could give me an answer, so I didn't believe I would ever know for sure.
For the sake of survival, I decided to create my own story and live in it as well as I could. First came acceptance ... we are born and then we die. I decided life was a period of time that was at best a bit of a joke. We didn't choose it, understand it and at some level we were unable to value because it had no meaning. It seemed to me a bit later that this "not knowing" was taken care of for people who responded to religions, ideologies and other faith-based offerings. Which meant from my point of view, if that wasn't my scene I had to make my own. I looked to role models. When none of those on their own, had any appeal to me, my search for meaning became urgent. It was then that I found creativity. The act of searching for meaning turned into a creative act in itself. I have lived all my life since then with the knowledge that putting ideas, feelings and knowledge together can produce unexpected, exhilarating and even useful experience in whatever setting you're in.
Creativity is not just art, music, drama and science. It is the essence of everything we do that is thoughtful, original and bears fruit. It's how you relate to people in new ways, how you think in new ways, how you stand up when things are tough. And if it's not the meaning, it's a great way to pass the time.