Back in the dark ages of 1997 few people knew the sex of their unborn child, gender reveal parties had not even been thought of and there was no such thing as a push present.

Way back when, there was a surprise for the parents and their respective family and friends after hours of labour. Once you heard the first gorgeous screams of your little one, then you were told the baby’s sex … surprise.

I figure if a woman goes through the pain of pushing a watermelon-sized human through essentially the eye of a needle, there damn well better be a surprise at the end.

Now, for many parents (even first time ones) that nine (who am I kidding, 10) months of waiting seems far too long to find out whether they are having a boy or a girl. Hell guys, we wait 12 months between Christmases and birthdays before finding out what our “surprises” are. Surely you can wait another few months. You youngins are so impatient.

Now the “in” thing is to hold a gender reveal, where a cake is cut or pink or blue (and in some cases of multiple births … both) balloons are released to disclose the baby’s sex.

I get the need for the younger generations to be ultra-organised. I admit I like to micro-manage my life to the enth degree, but gender reveal parties seem to be taking the fun out of impending parenthood. What’s wrong with buying gender-neutral colours like white, lemon and green beforehand? You’ll get enough gender-appropriate coloured presents once the little tyke is born.

And push presents? I better there’s millions of mothers out there sticking their hands out to their husbands for some well overdue “push presents” for giving birth to their babies.

According to an online shopping site, some of the best “push presents” include jewellery, a family vacation (yeah right, with a newborn? Get me a nanny), a rocking chair for the nursery (very practical), a smart phone (to take all those photos for your Facebook friends).